On Gratitude for Illness

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What if today, instead of diagnosing, monitoring, analyzing, treating and trying to fix your chronic illness you took a moment to step back, do nothing and simply be thankful for its place in your life. Yes, thankful for the thing that causes you pain, fatigue, confusion, loss of control and at times suffering. If you’re all “Yeah whatever lady, I didn’t ask for this, you don’t know what it’s like,” hear me out.

Illness is our body telling is that something is out of balance. It’s our body trying to get our attention so we can work towards fixing the imbalance. Having an illness in any form is not something anyone asks for, but if we can view illness as an opportunity to slow down, quiet down, and listen to what is going on internally it can be used as a great tool for healing and personal growth. 

Illness, when simply observed with kindness and viewed without judgement can provide us with huge insights into the very core of ourselves.  It can act as a catalyst for personal awakening and growth because it forces us to become really aware of what is going on in our bodies and our lives at the most basic level.  As a busy society, we get pretty good at ignoring the subtle signals our bodies send us when we are burnt out and trying to keep up with the pace of life, and dulling them down when they become inconvenient. As Lissa Rankin eloquently states in her book Mind Over Medicine,

“Illness offers us a precious opportunity to investigate our lives without judgement, diagnose the root cause of what might be contributing to an illness, realign ourselves spiritually, and do what we can to make our bodies ripe for miracles.” - Lissa Rankin, MD

More often than not in life great catalysts of change come in the form of tragedy or sadness.  Illness can be one of these powerful vehicles of change if we let it.

Those who have chronic illness, whether you like it or not, have to become masters at identifying subtle cues in the body and strengthening this mind body connection as a survival mechanism.  This can come in the form of paying attention to food and what we put into our bodies, identification of environmental triggers for disease, knowing when to rest and when to keep moving, etc. Although this vigilance can be tiring, annoying, and cumbersome at times it’s ultimately one of the key pieces of living a healthy, robust life.

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Here are a few things that having a chronic disease has given me personally:

• A strengthened connection between how I feel and what is going on in my body in order to detect imbalances before they become unmanageable.

• My life calling and career path in health and wellness.

• The ability to be a better nurse and healer for others because of a deeper understanding of the illness experience.

• A true appreciation for food and how it’s the key to good health.

• Greater connection to nature and the world around me through using food as nourishment and medicine.

• A more grounded outlook on life and the things that truly matter.

• The deeper ability to understand who I am and what I value at my core (a work in progress).

• The ability to know when I need to slow down and take care of myself rather than push through and the wisdom to not judge myself either way (another work in progress).

• An open mind about the myriad methods of healing, conventional and alternative.

• Connection to a community of like-minded individuals who want to change the way chronic disease is managed in our current health care system.

• A fierce appreciation for health, energy and good times!

So today I give you permission (you may totally not need it from me but, hey, sometimes it’s nice to hear!) to give yourself a break, do nothing, and know that what you are doing is enough. Because, OMG it can get overwhelming to be in charge of monitoring and healing these complex bodies of ours on or own.  I encourage you to take a moment today to think about or write down what you are thankful for about having an illness.   Or if not an illness just something traumatic that happened to you where you made it out alive (and if you're reading this you are most certainly alive). If anything just this act of positive thinking can pull you out of a rut if you are feeling stuck. As my girl Lissa Rankin says,  

“Gratitude keeps you optimistic, and as we’ve seen, evidence shows that optimism improves your health. When you focus on gratitude, positive things flow in more readily, making you even more grateful. As long as you keep your gratitude vessel full, you’ll avoid the unhealthy plunge into dark places.” - Lissa Rankin, MD

You may not be in a place where gratitude feels possible right now. Maybe the burden of your disease is greater than anything else and that is ok. No matter where you are today, simply try to take one moment to listen to what your body is telling you without judgment. See if you come up with something you weren’t aware of before and see if there is a tiny space for gratitude just for having this moment. One day you will be able to find one shred of it and it may make all the difference.  

In Health, 

Christina Tidwell, MN, RN, CHC

PS: If you do make a gratitude list be sure to share it with me I would love to see it! As always, if you want to chat more about your health and how you can strengthen this mind body connection I’d love to support you.  Click the button below to schedule a complementary Discovery Session with me and we’ll have a chat.

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What to Bring to Your Next Doctor’s Appointment

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You make an appointment at your doctor’s office for three weeks out, you sit in the waiting room for 30 minutes, you get into the room and your doctor asks you a few questions about what brought you in, writes your prescriptions, types in notes, and is out the door faster than you can say “Echocardiogram”.  Does this sound familiar to you guys? You leave thinking of the questions you mulled over for weeks that you meant to ask, and about the answers and care that you did not get. It’s frustrating! And can cause issues we have to slip through the cracks and our overall health to decline.

Despite the best intentions of health care providers, our current health care system does not always allow us the time we need to feel cared for.  In a perfect world we would have as long as we needed with our providers.   We would be encouraged to be our own advocates, and to ask questions not only about our specific health concern but also about how our body is working as whole.

I do believe that a more holistic view of patient care is on the rise, but while we work within the confines of our current system, here are some tips I’ve learned from personal experience to maximize your time at your next doctor’s visit to get the best care possible:

Write down a list of questions before your visit. This way you won’t forget everything you’ve been thinking of before the visit and have a checklist to systematically go through.  You can let the provider know that you’ve prepared these questions and he/she will be more likely to spend the time reviewing your concerns.

Bring another person.  Especially if you are feeling stressed out or concerned about your visit, another person can help you remember what was said during the appointment. Doctors often times forget that not everyone knows the medical jargon they use and a lot can get lost in translation. Another trusted person can serve as a note taker, a second opinion and even a support system.

Bring your medications, if taking any, to review with the doctor or nurse.  The doctor may ask if you need any prescriptions refilled or may change certain medications, and it’s really beneficial if you have all of them in front of you to avoid double dosing or taking discontinued medications at home.   The nurse at the office would be happy to review these with you and make sure everything checks out.

Do your research.  Doctors or nurses might be cringing as they read this thinking of the piles of googled WebMD articles that will flood their desks, but I don’t mean it in this way! If you doctor has suggested a new therapy, read up about it and find out everything you can so you can have a meaningful and productive conversation during your visit. Be your own advocate! It is your body and it is 100% your business.  You may also come across alternative therapies you may want to suggest to your provider that he/she didn’t think of that could add to your overall health and well being.  

Do you guys have any other tips from your own experience? Leave a comment or send me an email and let me know! 

xx Christina Tidwell, MN, RN 

My Story [Part 2]

The diagnosis of a chronic illness can provide relief at finally having answers to questions, but it is only the starting point in the journey of returning to health again. I began this journey at 18 years old and never imagined all the places it would take me.  This discovery is my passion, my purpose, and what I want to share with you!  Whether you are living with a chronic illness or simply crave health and balance in your life, I want to guide you and show you how it is possible to find sustainable, attainable health by nourishing your body and mind.

This is something I will speak in depth about later, but our current health care system in the U.S. does a great job at treating acute illnesses, but fails us in a lot of ways when it comes to treating people with longstanding chronic issues who require a more holistic approach to care.  When I was discharged from the hospital I went from doctor to doctor to follow up on what medications I needed to control my fevers now that my diagnosis had changed to Adult Onset Still’s Disease (AOSD).  I was on low-dose chemotherapy drugs that were affecting my liver, high-dose steroids that gave me anxiety and made my face puffy.  I was miserable and still was unable to find the best treatment for me. 

All of the health care professionals I went to were highly skilled in their field and I owe my life to them.  They did not, however, seem to take me into account as a person rather than a disease category.  I looked to them to give me clues as to how to live my daily life, what to eat to nourish my body, or what other alternative therapies I could try to reduce inflammation in my body or decrease my anxiety, but unfortunately I never got any of this information. I needed so badly for someone to help me and guide me.  I am grateful for all the practitioners I had back then. But as time went on and despite their best intentions, it became apparent to my 18 year old self that these people didn't really have the tools to guide me through the process of getting well again. That’s where I had to begin the journey myself. 

One day I went to see the nurse practitioner at my rheumatologist's office and after listening to my whole story, the one I’d told a million times, she looked at me and said, “Wow, you’ve been though a lot, how are you doing with all of this?”  It stopped me dead in my tracks because this was the first person, out of the dozens of health care workers, who had actually looked at me as a person, not as a diagnosis, and asked this simple question that brought me to tears and changed the course of my life.

From there she began to ask me how my medications were working for me, and how we might alter them to better fit my needs and reduce side effects rather than saying "This is just how it’s done”. She took a leap of faith and started me on a newer injectable medication that ultimately was the only drug that worked to alleviate my symptoms at the time. I no longer have to take any medications, but there was a time where I needed them, and in my approach with my clients I never view it as an “either or” between needing a pharmaceutical and supporting the body holistically.

She never rushed me out of my appointments and listened to how my disease was affecting all parts of my life. She encouraged me to do yoga and exercise to regain the strength I had lost. She suggested stress reduction techniques such as meditation because stress is a major trigger in my disease. She opened my eyes to the idea that I was the one that had control, and by modifying my diet and lifestyle I could learn how to live a life not ruled by my disease.

Because of this influence in my life and my own sparked curiosity, I became a Registered Nurse to be there for people who were really sick. I worked in the Intensive Care Unit, as a Cardiac specialist and in long-term patient rehab and I learned so much about the inner workings of our bodies and medical systems. But there was always a voice, whispering to me that there was even more to healing than this. I wanted to help people before they had the triple bypass surgeries and came to me in recovery and I knew I could. 

While others around me found purpose in treating critical injuries and thriving in high adrenaline situations (my poor nervous system!) I was endlessly curious about the illness experience and supporting the person rather than just the body part or diagnosis. 

I followed a spark of desire to train as a health coach back in 2015 (not letting the question of what exactly IS a health coach? stop me). As I’m prone to do, I kept studying and gathering knowledge, trained in Functional Nutrition and got certified as a Board Certified Nurse Coach. 

I’ve been working with clients since 2015 and have had the honor to support hundreds of individuals and groups to find their path to healing. I’ve also worked as a group coaching mentor for coaches to develop and deliver programs to reach more people.  

My own individual health journey has taken me on a wild ride as well, giving me deep reverence for many traditions and forms of medicine from Chinese Medicine to Shamanism to Trauma-Aware Counseling. I believe that we can only help people as much as we have helped ourselves, and over the years my lived experience has helped ground me into the practitioner I am today and develop the type of medicine I have to offer. 

That no matter where you are at in life, or how you feel, if you have the smallest inkling that you want to create change and live a healthier more balanced life you have that power.  And I would love nothing more than you help you realize this power.

If you want to learn more about how to work together, I always offer complementary 20-minute Discovery Calls so we I can hear your story. Click the button below to book a call. The support you’re looking for is just one step away!

My Story [Part 1]

When I was 18 years old I got really sick. It was sudden and fast and confusing. It felt like I was walking down a normal, predictable path and then the road all of a sudden crumbled in front of me, creating a chasm between what was and what was supposed to be. 

I was a healthy, active highschool student playing tennis in the state tournament when I started to feel vague, flu-like symptoms accompanied by a low-grade fever.   I attributed it to long hours playing tennis, being worn down, having a bad cold.  I had never had any serious illness before and had no concept of what could be happening to me.

After a long day of playing tennis in the state finals I began to feel a pain in the middle of my back that got worse when I took deep breaths in and out.  Over the past few weeks my fevers had begun to progress and went through cycles of shivers and chills that shook my whole body, high spiking fevers up to 104 degrees (F), followed by drenching sweats.

These fevers came in cycles and started around 8pm at night and broke by morning.  I thought it was a horrible virus, and tried to rest and get over it.  I went to sleep early one evening and woke up in the middle of the night with an excruciating pain from my left shoulder down to my tailbone.  My back had seized up into a knot and the slightest breath in or out made me scream in pain. I grabbed my phone next to my bed and called my parents down the hall in the middle of the night so I could tell them that something was really wrong and needed help.

I was rushed me to the nearest hospital, and there they found I had a pulmonary embolism or a blood clot that had traveled to the arteries in my lungs that had caused my severe pain and shortness of breath.  This was likely due to the hormonal birth control I had just started taking a few months before and widespread inflammation - creating a “perfect storm” for inflammation.

I was started on a blood thinner to get rid of the clot and given morphine for the pain. In addition to this clot, I still had these strange, vague, flu-like symptoms and none of the experts were sure how this all fit together. I was tested for every infectious disease under the sun from West Nile Virus to Dengue Fever. Initially, the doctors diagnosed me with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) (this diagnosis has changed) and began treating me for an autoimmune disease that was attacking my body.

I was later diagnosed with something called Adult Onset Still’s Disease, but have had a few other diagnoses and have since learned that Lyme Disease was a big part of my symptoms as well. As anyone with autoimmunity or chronic illness knows, the inability to fit me into a nice and tidy box was also part of the difficulty.

I was discharged from the hospital three weeks later on high dose steroids which had stifled my fevers.  I wanted to get out in time to walk in my highschool graduation.  Pictures of me on that day show someone glazed over with pain medications; a person I hardly recognize today.  I was still trying to grasp what had happened to me and had no idea of the obstacles that lay before me. My discharge from the hospital was only just the beginning of my journey in understanding how to live as a person with a chronic, autoimmune disease and incorporate that into my personal story. 

Continue reading Part 2 of My Story here.